Quotes tagged with “humor”

“If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.” by: Eoin Colfer This Quote is featured in 11 designs:

“The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.” by: Frank Zappa This Quote is featured in 11 designs:

“A woman told me her child was autistic, and I thought she said artistic. So I said, 'Oh great. I'd like to see some of the things he's done.” by: George Carlin This Quote is featured in 11 designs:

“Brevity is the soul of wit.” by: William Shakespeare This Quote is featured in 11 designs:

“Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.” by: Terry Pratchett This Quote is featured in 11 designs:

“Well, I'm about as tall as a shotgun, and just as noisy.” by: Truman Capote This Quote is featured in 11 designs:

“Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.” by: Terry Pratchett This Quote is featured in 11 designs:

“It is one of those lessons that every child should learn: Don't play with fire, sharp objects, or ancient artifacts.” by: Patricia Briggs This Quote is featured in 11 designs:

“She is a peacock in everything but beauty.” by: Oscar Wilde This Quote is featured in 11 designs:

“Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?” by: Steven Wright This Quote is featured in 11 designs: